spring 2010

year 2 week 3
March 20th to 26th……

Ever since I came back from my Christmas vacation I been working with the first graders and fifth graders on preparing songs for the mothers day party. As the week before the mother’s day party came the teachers fought like crazy for time with their classes on the stage to practice. The actual day had arrived for the presentation and I was sure that my students would nail it.. well almost sure…
Seven years ago, I hadn’t been so lucky…. I was in korea and my students had prepared a musical for the summer camp show, about half way through the show the kids got into a huge fight on the stage and knocked down all the sets and well it was one of those “Charlie brown school play” moments where all you can do it roll your eyes.
So as confidant as I felt about the students ability to sing and do the dance moves, I didn’t know if I could trust them not to find another way to make a disaster of it all.
One of the things that I really do hate about teaching the most and I think if I were a mother i would also hate about that job is going to school performances. Two to three hours of your life that you can’t get back that are spent sitting there with no way to escape. At least at this performance no one was singing a Celine Dion song (can you tell I am still scared by living in China and Taiwan during the Titanic years?) and I was given the job of being the school photographer. Which gave me something to do and distracted me from the pain of listening to group after group of children got up and screamed out the songs their teachers had been practicing for so long.
There was a huge part of me that felt very sorry for the mom’s that they had to be honored this way.
The my song with the first grade had gotten left off the schedule which broke my heart. So as the even went on we were added in half heartedly… They were okay but not great.
Finally my pride and joys came on… they were the last event of the day… and they ROCKED!!!
They sang their own version of “Wind beneath my wings”… and they nailed it!!!
I couldn’t have been prouder…
I guess in the end that is why we do these shows, because in the end you feel so much pride for the little monsters.

After school I crashed out and spent the afternoon relaxing. The week before had been so stressful that I needed time to gain some perspective.
That evening Fahmida and I met our good friend Gabriella at a local restaurant called Stones. Gabriella had a friend visiting from England that we were able to meet and spend the evening chatting away with.
Ramallah might be the first place that I have lived overseas where we are able to have so many visitors. Every where else has been so isolated and not exactly on the top of the list of places to visit. The holy land is a different thing completely. In addition now that we have joined the Hospitality Club and Couch Surfers, I fell like we are in for a many more visitors, which for a social butterfly like me, just makes me so happy.

On Sunday I needed to go to Nablus. I hadn’t been in two weeks because the week before my passport was at the Egyptian embassy. Nablus is not the type of place you can go with out your passport. The city is surrounded by checkpoints and it used to be that you might be able to get in or out with out it since they weren’t overly concerned with the internationals coming in and out but the last six months have brought a big change to that.
Now the internationals seem to be the bigger focus at the checkpoints. There is a group called ISM (international solidarity movement) that fights for the human rights of Palestinians. Some of the members of ISM take great pride in referring to themselves as “human shields”. I understand what they are doing but it isn’t what I do at all. I really feel like education is a better means to the same ends or at least a better use of my talents. The Israeli government takes great insult to this group and has made many night raids in to Palestine to find and deport international members of this group.
Because of them, internationals are singled out at checkpoints and grilled over what we are doing here.
I absolutely doing not explain what I am doing here at all… instead I am a Christian pilgrim. Not that what I really do is too offensive, but it is more that then I would get pulled into extra questioning and taken in to detention every time I answered. It just isn’t worth it. And since my personal reason to be here is a pilgrimage it isn’t too much of a lie.
After mass I met Gabriella and her friend at the bus station in Ramallah and we took off for the one-hour journey. You never know if things are going to be bad along this journey. The week before both Israeli Settlers and Palestinian farmers along that road had been attacking cars and busses with Rocks and other things they could find to throw. We were hoping that the roads would be safe and checkpoints open. It turned out to be an uneventful and quick trip, which I greatly appreciated.
Once we got to Nablus we had a little less than two hours before Safwan would be finished with school. I wanted to take him out to lunch to surprise him. First I needed to call the sisters to ask their permission.
Recently the sisters had a change in positions at their house. Sister Jian used to be the superior but she was just moved to the house in Gaza so now Sister Karisma is the head. She usual says yes when I call her with crazy requests for Safwan. Sister Jian was a bit more reserved about his hanging out on the town with us crazy internationals.
My next call after I got her approval was to Lana, my old boss and director of the school. I needed her to call the taxi driver who usually takes Safwan home and have him bring the little tiger to the restaurant. She didn’t answer my call.
So I called the taxi driver directly and had Gabriella (who speaks amazing Arabic) talk to Nazi the driver. He had no problem agreeing to bring Safwan to see me. At times like this I love how trusting Palestine is. Once the house keeping had been done we were able to go off and explore the city.
It is going to sound horrible but this was the first time that I had a couple of people to walk around with, and time, that it wasn’t a Friday when everything is deserted, and that it wasn’t too hot to really explore. I had of course walked around the old city many times. When I first lived in Nablus I had to walk to through the old city to get home everyday. But I had been warned and had then gone on to warn all the other teachers to only walk on the main roads of the old city in Nablus.
Nablus is extremely famous for being the city of resistance to the occupation. Every suicide bomber was from Nablus. Most all of the major fractions of resistance are based in the old city of Nablus. As long as you stick to the main roads you are safe but it is in the little nooks and crannies in the old city that you find these groups and people.
I don’t know what quite possessed us to go and really explore. Maybe it was the fact that I had seen so much the week before in Jerusalem that gave me the guts to do this, maybe stupidity, maybe all the death around me this past year that finally had gotten to me. What ever it was, I had an amazing time exploring all the alleyways and tunnels. We had a magical hour and a bit wondering trying to get lost. The old city of Nablus is a huge web of an ancient city. It is strange to think that Jesus himself walked through parts of it. They still have old roman ruins amongst the ottoman buildings. We finally ended the fun with a quick visit to the world famous Kanafa stand next to the mosque and then made our way to the restaurant just before my little Safwan got there.
A few weeks ago Safwan told me that he much prefers me to surprise him then for him to sit and wait for me. The poor boy naturally gets up at 5 am and on a good day I might get up at 8 am much less on my one day off a week. And because Nablus is a good hour away by bus I don’t usually get there until 10am. This means that he has been waiting five hours for me by the time I see him. And he is always happy to see me but usually a bit frustrated with my crazy desire to sleep in till 8 on a Friday. And with all of the political problems going on these past few months there has been more than one time that I have had to call and cancel on him because it just isn’t safe for me to go there.
Nazi the taxi driver liked the idea of surprising Safwan and told him he had to stop on the way home to run an errand. Then he ran into the restaurant and got me and even the coldest stone heart would have melted to see the astonishment and joy on his face when he realized I was here to surprise him.
It was beautiful. He was so happy…
Apparently I had chosen the right restaurant. The housekeeper who has taken care of him since he was born has 8 children. They have all treated Safwan like a little brother. I didn’t realize that the oldest soon worked at this restaurant and that Safwan had been dreaming of going to eat there for two years. It is by far the nicest place in Nablus, and I wouldn’t have usually chosen to go there except that we were bringing Gabriella’s friend. For a first visit to Nablus that is the best place to go!
About half way through lunch the loud speakers around Nablus started ringing out with the sounds of he Iman’s voice. Something was going on… This wasn’t the call to prayer. I know this type of call… this was a call to indignation. Because there wasn’t much we could do, we finished lunch and the girls left to go and see “Jacob’s Well”. Safwan requested that we stay and continue people watching at the restaurant. Eventually we called Waleed (the greatest taxi driver in the world) and he took us back to the convent. On the way, he told us soldiers had killed two more boys. This meant that in just a mere 24 hours the Israeli soldiers in Nablus had killed 4 teens. This was not a good time to be there. I asked Waleed to call me if he heard anything more. Because these killing had happened next to the checkpoint I didn’t know if the checkpoints would be open or safe to go through. I also was planning to walk to the bus station but I didn’t want to do that if demonstrations started up. Walking around the old city with two others was one thing in the middle of the day but demonstrations in Nablus were another thing.
It was Palestinian mother’s day and Safwan had made a mother’s day card at school. It is rather bazzar to send the orphan home with a mother’s day card… and only one card. (I am not criticizing because I too have made mother’s day cards only to find out later I had students who didn’t have mothers, or multiple mothers) Safwan was totally confused about who to give the card to. The first person he saw was Sister Maria who really has been his mother figure for the past three years. He immediately whipped out the card and gave it to her with hugs and kisses and told her she was the best mother ever. After the whole ceremony of it she told him he should give the card to the house keeper, Suehad, who has taken care of him since he was born. He quickly agreed this was a good idea so he called for her to come down. The whole ceremony was repeated again and she had tears in her eyes she was so touched. She took the card and her things and went home. Then the other sisters came out to see him and he suddenly realized he didn’t have a Mother’s day card to give them. He had really enjoyed the whole thing and wanted to repeat it with each of the other sisters but now he was short a card to official give. So I decided it was time to play ball in the garden with him. What is a little orphan with 8 or 9 mother figures to do?
After a few more hours of playing with Safwan in the garden and chatting with the sisters and meeting the new sisters, we decided that I better get out of Nablus before anything more happened.
When I got to the bus station I was mad because I got there right as a bus filled up and left. This meant that I would have to wait for the next bus to fill up, it could take minutes or hours. Luckily I had a book with me to help distract while waiting. The last person to get in the bus and to sit next to me turned out to be a good friend/co-worker/parent of a student, Ida. I had forgotten that Ida’s family was from the Askar refugee camp right next to the bus station. She had gone to Nablus to spend the day with her sister. It was the one year anniversary of the death of her nephew. Exactly a year before her 15 year old soldiers had also killed nephew. They had spent the day in mourning and remembrance.

The first checkpoint that we went through was no problem at all. There was a long line of cars but the bus drove on the shoulder of the road and cut right to the front of the line. The soldiers didn’t even look inside the bus….
The next checkpoint we got to was Zatar Circle in arabic (or Tappah Junction in Hebrew). At this checkpoint the soldiers looked inside the bus and saw that I was there and asked for my passport only at first. They had me open the little window next to my seat and questioned me about why I was in Nablus, “to see the sisters at the catholic church”. What was I doing in palestine, “just praying and seeing the churches”. Where do I live, “Los Angeles”. where am I going, “back to Jerusalem”. And then over and over again they asked if I was okay??? I know they are just scared and concerned for me. That they could never imagine riding in an arab bus or going into Nablus without a armored convoy. But for me an American it is safe or at least safe enough.
Then they turned to my friend Ida and asked her how she was doing and she said, “not well, that it had been a bad day”. That was enough to get us pulled over and bomb checked. They took everyone else’s ID’s and had the bus pull over in to the special parking lot. We were all asked to get out of the bus. The soldiers had me go and stand in an area by myself guarded by them. They told me to “hide behind them” They brought out the mirrors and ripped the bus apart searching. They questioned everyone and ran their IDs. By this time it was past 8pm and I was COLD. Nothing was found and no one over reacted so eventually we were free to go. Again the whole time I was standing there the soldiers kept asking me if I was okay. I am sure I had the look of horror on my face. I wanted to (but didn’t) tell them it wasn’t the arabs that scared me but the dozen of M-16’s with in a meter of me that freak me out. Honestly I try and try not to look at the guns but I just can’t help myself. Plus I was cold.. it is hard to look happy and relaxed when cold and around all those guns.
We eventually made it home and pretty much fell fast asleep minutes after I got home.
It is pretty much how it is every night… I am asleep by 9 or 9:30 at the latest…
I get home from tutoring, read for a few minutes and crash out happily.

Monday was a bit of a hellish day.
My day ended with teaching the sixth grade…
Let’s just say I have never been treated that way before.. by the time class was over I had decided that maybe I needed to leave the whole teaching profession or at least Palestine. I marched down to the principal’s office and she swore she would take care of it and not to worry. I swore I would never step foot in their classroom again.
I was still in a foul mood by the time I left school. My after school students that I tutor didn’t show up and was ready to go home and hide from the world. On the way home I got a phone call from my grandparents’ friends who were finishing up their pilgrimage in Jerusalem and was invited to come to the farewell dinner. I had to run home and find something nice to wear that was appropriate for getting through checkpoints. The only nice dress I brought with me is knee length. It is perfectly appropriate for Jerusalem but not for the buses of Ramallah.
Once I found my nice black slacks I was off and running. I had no idea what the checkpoints would look like and it could take 45 minutes to hours to get the 10 miles to their hotel.
Magically I got there in exactly one hour. Every bus I needed was full and each only needed one more person, ME, to leave. (buses here don’t leave until they are full so depending on the day it can take seconds for it to leave after you arrive or hours)
The checkpoints were open and relatively peaceful. It can be disconcerting here how violent things can get in a matter of moments and then a few hours later everything is fine again.
I got to the hotel and was able to spend a few minutes catching Sister Mary Jean up on my year since she had seen me last year when we were on the pilgrimage together.
I went to the farewell dinner with the group at one of the nicer and more delicious dinners in Jerusalem. I was so good to spend the evening with people I knew, and people who knew where I came from. They were so kind and I really needed time with my roots. It sometimes is hard always go and making new friends and having only friendships based on what I am doing right now. This current segment of my life is so different and alien from my California life and family. There are people here like the sisters who really understand that. But most of my friends, co-workers and students just don’t know the full picture of who I am. It is good sometimes to get grounded and spending just the few evenings with the pilgrimage group from Los Angeles really was able to do that for me.

The rest of the week was rather uneventful…. Wednesday night I sat down with Gabriella to figure out what we wanted to see and do on our Egypt trip next week. We started off both wanting to go to Luxor but were just struggling with not enough time there and the ferries not going on the right days. As we sat there pondering what to do about it Gabriella noticed on the map the Monasteries of St. Anthony and St. Paul and said she had always dreamed of going there since she had written so many academic journal articles on them and their rare manuscripts. I remarked that I really wanted to go there also but never thought I would find someone who felt the same way, so we scrapped the Luxor plan and are now going to try and figure out how to go to the monasteries instead.

The last few days my nerves are raw and I am getting irritated at everything and everyone and I really need a vacation. I am getting enough sleep but I am not feeling so hot.

So now it isFriday morning and I need to go to Nablus today. I just noticed on my computer that I think time changed this morning and it isn’t 9am but 10am. This means I am really late.

Yesterday I came down with a sinus infection and right now my lungs are not feeling so hot. But I really need to go since I won’t get another chance to see Safwan before I leave for Egypt. AND his birthday is while I am gone AND one of the former teachers from his school wants to throw him a birthday and we need to sit and plan it. (I am so sad I won’t be there for it)

I haven’t written about year 2 week 2 because it was an emotionally crazy week and I still haven’t put any of it into perspective enough to write about it.
We had to deal with Fadi’s death, the anniversary of Dan’s death, a mini war broke out and we were trying to figure out if it was going to lead to a big intifada, I got caught in demonstrations in Jerusalem, said goodbye to sr. Jian who left for Gaza, house guests from Germany who didn’t know anything about what was going on here, just drama drama drama that really wore me down.
I need to have a moment of peace and quiet to reflect on it and I am not sure when I am going to get that.